This first week is hell and I don’t know what I’m doing. My Starting Weight Is Just Increasing.

The last two or three weeks have been rough. I started going to the gym, went on the scale to find out that I had gained about 7lbs from August which was my first time ever going to the gym and last time I had been. I was 212lbs three weeks ago. I realized that the freshman 15 was going to beat my ass and turn into the freshman 45 if I didn’t get it together. So I started looking up diet plans and ways to get healthier.

None of the info I found was necessarily new to me. I had been looking up weightloss tips for years throughout high school and just never did anything bcs I had to eat whatever was given to me. I knew all the calorie deficit stuff, the whole “its diet, not exercise” spiels, and what IF was. After some more research, I decided how I was gonna lose weight and what I was gonna do to change. By then, I had been going to the gym like every other day and saw that my weight went up again. This time to 213.6lbs, but that’s fine right? Weight fluctuates, that’s probably what it is.

Then all hell broke loose last week.

I decided I was gonna try keto. It was hell, because not only did I not realize how much food had carbs in it, i live in a college dorm where basically all of my in-room snacks are just chips and cookies and chef boyarde. I was the mayor of carb city. So the keto train ended real quick. The next day I tried just trying to minimize calorie intake and inevitably, I went way over without realizing. This pattern continued for the next few days.

I would do good in the morning because I don’t eat breakfast. I’d eat a small snack like a granola bar at most. But by 9pm, I would be eating anything in sight if I wanted to. It doesn’t help that my dorm hall has just been handing out massive amounts of candy because of Halloween season. Not only was I overeating, I was also sleep deprived. Sunday, I woke up at 4pm. I missed half the day. So I decided, ah yes...I will just stay up and not go to sleep until tomorrow night. Because two days basically turned into one long day, I essentially did not know when to eat and quite honestly I was just sleepy the whole day so eating kept me up. I have no doubt that I didnt eat well over 2500 on Sunday and Monday. (also I didn’t even fix my sleep schedule bcs my dumbass still went to sleep at like 2am, so I’m a clown). And it’s weird bcs I never saw myself overeating this much before. Maybe like once a week, but never to the point that I was doing so this past week.

Tonight, I went to the gym and weighed myself and I am now 214.6lbs. I am steadily increasing my start weight and I wouldn’t be surprised if I was 225 by the end of this semester. I always swore to myself I would never get to be over 200lbs. I don’t know how but the week I tried eating better, I ate severely worse. I tried IF and it’s like I always found myself eating at 2am bcs of a poor sleep schedule and breaking my fast.

So TLDR if yall didnt wanna read that; It seems like the more I tried to be health conscious, the more I overate. Am I just stressing out over this? Is there anyone else going through what I’m going through right now?

I’m like 👌 this close to saying fuck it and just letting the weight consume me. I hope this post made sense bcs I literally am just spitballing at this point. If u have no advice, hope you enjoyed my rant.

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