I f’ed up... and sad

I’m on my weight lost journey like y’all here, and I’ve gotten from 190-ish lbs to 150 ish, and then...

Two months ago there were series of hard shifts (whereas I work nonstop and no sleep) plus ramping up my run, plus all the self control inside me that just jumped out the window. So I start on a 1-say binge and 2day recovery streaks for 3 whole months

I gained back to around 165 lbs and I’m here, feeling like absolute garbage. I cannot, for the life of me, stop eating sometimes (well, some days more like) and the weight gain makes me sick mentally and physically.

It might not seem like that big a change to y’all, but it feels like I’m failing myself again. I’m barely hanging on the wagon and I needed to get back up there ;(

I have appointment for the in-body evaluation (where you measure body fat and stuffs) and I really, really don’t want to see the number going up after one year of a good job

Ps: I’m 5’9” 25F, SW 194, CW 165 Running 45-50 miles/week in my training for a marathon (first in life!) and weight training 2-3 times a week During recovery day I ate 1600-1700 kcal and binging ranges from 2000-3000 kcal D;

Pls sent help!

submitted by /u/BkZa555
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