(NSV) I'm really proud of myself today, despite having gone over my calorie budget for the day.

It seems absolutely stupid, even to me right now as I write this, but today is the first time through years and years of yo yo weightloss that I've been able to be honest with myself about what I've eaten on any given day.

I've always lied to myself when I logged calories. Every single time. Oh no, I couldn't possibly have had more than 2 oreos, or that slice of birthday cake, because then, then I wouldn't be under my calorie goal. And I would be so, so ashamed about my lack of self control that I could never let it happen. So I pretended it didn't happen, as though lying to my food diary would somehow make it ok again, and then I would get upset that I wasn't making enough or any progress.

But today, I didn't. I logged every bite, every mouthful, every snack. And because of that, I didn't go, 'Well, the day is ruined now diet-wise, guess it's time to binge!'. I went, 'Oh, well, I went over, but not by much, and it's definitely less than my TDEE.' and because of that, didn't eat that second or third or fifth oreo.

I'm really proud, because I feel like this is perhaps the start of viewing my relationship with food in a healthier, more honest manner. I'm so excited for the future. One step at a time I guess. :)

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